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Jan 6, 2010, 12:19am

Eat.Sleep.Ride :: General :: "Quotes" :: New Year's Resolutions for Horses. . . .

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Topic: New Year's Resolutions for Horses. . . . (Read 64 times)

emies
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New Year's Resolutions for Horses. . . .
« Thread Started on Apr 21, 2006, 8:55pm »

New Year's Resolutions for Horses

* I will NOT roll in streams or try to roll when my human is on my back.
* I will NOT leap over large nonexistent obstacles when the whim strikes.
* I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I did on the way out.
* I promise NOT to swish my tail while my human is cleaning my back feet.
* I promise also NOT to choose that particular time to answer nature's call.
* I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just because it is there.
* I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair for really soft hay.
* I will NOT wipe green slime down the back of my human's white shirt.
* I will NOT blow my nose on my human.
* I CAN walk and potty at the same time. I can, I can, I can.
* I will NOT stop and potty every time I pass the same spot in the arena.
* I will NOT leave when my rider falls off.
* My stall is NOT my litter box. When I have free access to my paddock, I will NOT go back inside to potty.
* I will NOT try to mooch goodies off every human within a 1 mile radius.
* I will NOT lay totally flat out in my stall with my eyes glazed over and my legs straight out and pretend I can't hear my human frantically screaming "Are you asleep?"
* I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric fence to see if it is on.
* I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow of manure over while a human is mucking my stall.
* I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and attempt to lead myself.
* I will NOT have an attitude problem. I won't, I won't, I won't!
* I will NOT pull my new shoes off the very next day just to prove that I can.
* I am neither a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or remodel the barn or the new fences.
* I WILL forgive my human for the very bad haircut, even though I look like a freak.
* I accept that not every carrot is for me.
* I will NOT do the Arab Teleport Trick when a bad/naughty/awful Horsasaurus Monster breathes at me.
* I will NOT jump in the air and turn 180 degrees every time I see a bicycle.
* I will understand that bicycles are NOT carnivorous.
* I will NOT shy at familiar objects just for fun.
* I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in front of me during the trail ride just to say "Hi".
* I WILL put my ears forward and cooperate when it comes to photos.

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