Joined: Oct 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 467 Location: eh! land
Re: Christmas!!!!!! « Reply #2 on Dec 9, 2008, 11:37am »
I can't belive that the last post on here was over a year ago. Where did that year go?!
Nobody will probably see this. This poor, lost and forgotten board. And, under the General Board description, it says "you can talk about anything here..."
So here it goes. My own little private outlet where I can talk about anything. Are you ready for it? Probably not. Here are the words of my diary. The words that I cringe to write, but the words that I am living. And dying upon.
I can't do this. This school thing. I know they say that Universities are hard first year to weed out all the losers. I just didn't think ever that I would be one of those losers. And here I am! One of the failures. Need I explain more? Just mull it over. Anything you ever though of me as being. Aced high school like it was a colouring contest. And now, I am failing. Go for it. Just use this little tidbit of information and change your whole opinion of me. I've been expecting it anyways. What else can surprise me now?
I can't talk about school too much. It just makes me feel like throwing myself to the ground in tears and ripping my heart out with my bare hands. So let's just leave it at that, shall we?
Christmas is around the corner. I am looking forward to it, but I feel like a bad person for looking forward to something I don't deserve.
Thanks to all those who still love me. This isn't anythying dangerous. Just an outlet, no? I wonder who, if anyone, will find this. And who, if anyone, would even consider doing something about this? What factors would it entail? Probably the amount of time that has passed between my writing this, and the person finding this. And if that person has spoken to me since. And if that person is someone I talk to often. And if that person has changed thier opinion of me. So many factors. One I am sure of thought. Whatever happens, it can only get better right?
This is what I have been told. Things can only get better from here. I hope so. I also hope you don't change your opinion of me. I'm a good person. I just messed up. I made a huge mistake. Ok? Thanks.